happy birthday sadie

Happy Birthday to our baby Sadie!

December 19, 2020

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I can’t help but have mixed feelings about my firstborn, Sadie, turning 5 this past weekend.

I still remember the day when Doug and I decided we were ready to start trying to get pregnant. Of course, soon after getting married, you start hearing the horror stories of trying; how difficult it is and how long it can take. Despite it all, I was ready for the battle and mentality prepared myself for the worst. Over the course of the next two years, I did everything possible to try and conceive; Chinese medicine and herbal remedies (fu cha), acupuncture, fertility doctors, eating healthy, and soaking in all the advice I could from friends & family who were successful. We tried it all! Nothing worked. I was at my wits end. All the negative thoughts came flooding in. Why is it taking me so long? Is there something wrong with me? What could I have done differently? Am I ever going to have a baby? Seeing friends and family and being asked constantly about when I was going to start a family. Seeing pregnancy announcements pop up on Facebook. It was all so much.


As women, we have this invisible pressure that we put on ourselves. The pressure to conceive, the pressure to deliver a happy healthy baby, the pressure to lose the baby weight within months of delivering a baby! It makes us want to control everything when sometimes things are just simply out of our control. But what I’ve learned is that it’s just better to let go and be happy with what I’ve been given. Because two years of trying, heartache, and tears gave me my first baby, Sadie.

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In retrospect, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes, things will just fall into place. Through it all, Sadie was meant to be our daughter and we were meant to wait for her. She is so special to us. As human beings of the 21st century, it’s natural that when we want things, we want it in a snap. But life doesn’t work that way. But now, I understand the meaning of faith and patience. My dad always said, “Good things come to those who wait,” and truer words couldn’t have been said when it comes to Sadie.


I still remember when I first gave birth to Sadie. I was at the hospital and the nurse told us, “enjoy your time because time goes by fast.” Knowing this, we always made sure we didn’t let a day go by without doing something we love with them. Whether it’s a camping trip or a movie night or even just a night around the fire, we always made sure to soak up every moment with her. Sometimes when I look at her now, I flashback to moments when I would wake up every 3 hours to feed her. Yes, I was tired, but that time to me was so special. The feeling of being a mother and having that alone time is so precious. 

Fast forward 5 years later and now my baby is already 5 years old! Every chance I get, I tell her how much I love her and how I wish I could freeze time so she doesn’t grow up. Getting to know the compassionate, kind, loving, selfless, and happy little girl she is has made me so proud to be her mom. She lights up the room with a single flash of a smile. Even though she’s only 5, she’s incredibly mature beyond her years. She makes sure to remind us every day how much she loves us and how much she appreciates us. Doug and I always joke how grateful we are that they still want to hang out with us. Because we know one day, they’ll want to hang out with friends rather than hanging out with us. 

Through it all, Doug and I can honestly say that we have no regrets. We’ve done everything we could to spend more time with our kids and we don’t intend on stopping. We want to teach our kids life lessons through exploring the world around us. Our goal is to get a trailer for our family one day so that we can take them around traveling. Family is everything to us.

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To Sadie – Thank you so much for loving us and picking us to be your mom and dad. You mean everything to us. Mommy and daddy tell you this all the time, but we don’t need you to be a doctor or go to some ivy league school. We just want you to be yourself, be happy and healthy, and live every day to the fullest. Time is precious and we’ve learned that the hard way. Thank you for being who you are. You’re truly a blessing. You’ve taught us so much with your little 5-year-old self. We can’t wait to see what the future holds. We love you so much sweet Sadie! 

Love, Mommy & Daddy



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